waiting...

So, those of you who know me well and spend time with me know that i'm obsessed with weddings. I absolutely love everything about them, ever since I went to my cousins wedding when i was younger I literately fell in love with the idea of having an amazing wedding. I have it completely planned out everything from the place, the dress, the flowers, the cake and the honeymoon. That was the easy part. Finding a groom on the other hand proves to be a bit more difficult.

Now, I'm not saying that I want to get married right now or anytime in the near future. In fact marriage for me is in the far off distance. Right now, I just started this amazing job where i really have to focus and work hard. I really can honestly say that I don't want or need a boyfriend. Not that I wouldn't welcome one, but I guess I'm just not going out looking for one. Its too much of a distraction and right now I want to spend time with my friends and hang out and go crazy, travel, do anything i want to, while i'm still young. I have my whole life to be with someone, so I don't really want to start that right now. However, I would like to know that there will be one waiting for me when I am ready. When I want to settle down, it would be nice to have that reassurance that someone will be there. I know, I know, its so far away and so much can happen in that time, but like i said. It would just be nice to have that reassurance.

I don't think I've ever been in love. Actually I know I haven't. I've been in lust. In head over heals for you kind of lust, but it wasn't love. I was in limerence, I guess sara's the only one who knows what that means, but I guess its kind of like lust, sort of.

I was thinking earlier about the ideas of soul mates. And i think its kind of stupid. I mean there are billions of people in the world and you supposedly have one soul mate. How are you ever supposed to find that person. It really doesn't make any sense. I mean, what if my soul mate lives in africa?? I'll never find them. Like I said, its stupid, maybe i just don't get it......

So this valentines day was very sad. I sat at home, alone, snowed in. I miss plattsburgh. Plattsburgh, I was surrounded by people all the time. At a moments notice I could call up any one of my friends and hang out with them. We could do anything, we could sit and watch a movie, go to the gym, go to the bar, go out to eat, study, go shopping, whatever. We could do anything. And on valetines day, even if I didn't have a boyfriend at the time, I still always had a date. One of my friends would always take me out. Now instead when I want to hang out with someone, I have to practically schedule an appointment to do so. Its like doing things at a moments notice just doesn't exist anymore. Everything is planned and set up so that it fits into their schedule. I miss plattsburgh.....

Speaking of plattsburgh... er sara... I bought my ticket to japan!!!! I'm so excited I can't wait. I think it might be the most exciting thing in my life thus far. So now, I'm waiting. Waiting to see my friend, waiting to go to japan, waiting for summer to get here. Since I need to save up money, I'll be going out as little as possible the next couple of months. Which is good since its cold out and I have to schedule appointments to see my friends, I won't have to worry about that so much.. So waiting for summer to get here... I hope it comes soon!