Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A New Chapter

I never blog anymore. I got really into it for a while and I think I stopped because I was bored and running out of things to say, plus I don't think anyone was really reading it. I don't care either way...

I am beginning a new chapter in my life. I feel like I have come to a point in my life where I really need to stop and refocus everything I've ever thought. Well, maybe not completely but for the most part. I am in the process of an entirely new self discovery and trying to change in new ways and for the better. I am trying to experience life in a more positive way and really find out what I want to get out of life. I want to find my purpose and meaning to the world.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, a decision that came about over too many issues to fully explain. The main reason I think is because when I got out of college I felt like I was on a path. A path to live the everyday life that people are "supposed" to live. I had to get a job, find someone to marry, and have kids, then live happily ever after. I wanted all of this until I had it. I then began to feel like I couldn't breathe. Like every single part of me was being stripped away. I didn't know who I was and I didn't know how to find myself. I felt trapped. Trapped in a life that I didn't know if I wanted.

The good thing about this new chapter I am about to enter is that I still don't know what I want out of life. I still don't know who I am or who I want to be. The difference now is that I have an entire world of possibilies placed before me. I can do anything in the world that I want to do and no one will ever hold me back... I think that is the best feeling in the world.