In 66 days i will be in Japan. I couldn't be more excited. I've been wanting to travel for so long now and i'm finally getting that chance. Lately i've been thinking about my friends and all the things that they are doing and all the places that have been going to. I always try not to regret anything in life, because i know that everything happens for a reason and i truly do believe in fate. But sometimes its hard to look back and realize the things that I gave up. All the chances i've had to travel that I simply let pass me by.
When i first came to college, i told myself I was going to study abroad. i wanted to go to Australia. I wanted to study there for a semester and travel all over the lands. However, due to other circumstances, roommates and boyfriends and signing leases for apartments i never got to go. Maybe i didn't try hard enough, maybe deep down i was too scared, who knows. Then when i saved up enough money to backpack through europe for a month, i somehow spent every penny a few months before i went. i blew my chance to go that summer on having fun for a month over winter break. Sometimes I wish I had just done the things i wanted to when i wanted to, but life kept getting in the way.
I'm not saying its completely a loss, because I had an amazing time in college every semester i was there and i made some amazing friends. When i look back now, there isn't any semester that i would wanted to have given up for anything because of the wonderful memories that I made. And as for backpacking through europe that summer? well if i did that I wouldn't have went on one million interviews and been a master at interviewing, I may not have even landed the job with Kraft. I wouldn't have worked at boscovs, I wouldn't have met jess, and I wouldn't have spent so much time with lacy everyday and had so much fun. None of that would have happened. And while I do realize that this past summer wasn't the best, there were a lot of hard times and difficult times. It was all worth it to me now. Maybe giving up those things gave me the life I have now, which is simply amazing. And I still do have those chances to travel, i'm only 22 and i have my entire life ahead of me, its just hard watching everyone else do the things i've always wanted to do as well.
On another note, I was reading my friends blog and she was discussing American values compared to those in Vietnam and Thailand. How the media has such an influence on our lives. How over there, they live in the present and worry only about today rather than tomorrow. Why am i so obsessed with the future? why am I constantly wondering how i can save up money for later? why am i always thinking about how my life will be years down the road? why do i dream of a wedding when i don't even have a boyfriend? why am i planning what my house will look like later when i have a house all to myself right now? WHY am i always so concentrated on the future and what I want to do and how I want to live and where and whatever else i'm constantly thinking of??? What makes me think this way. Maybe its because when I jogging through my neighborhood i'm surrounding by perfect houses with white picket fences. Maybe its because i'm always watching tv and seeing a life that i will never live because its fake. Maybe its because there are simply too many things in life that i desire that don't really need. Maybe i need to concentrate on what i do have right now and simply be happy with it. I'm not saying that I'm not happy with my life right now, because i am, i'm VERY happy. But, i'm always thinking of how to make my life better. i'm always thinking about what i can do now to have a better future. Is this important in life? Do we need to concentrate so much on the future? Or should we be living in the present and not worry about it? Is there any balance to it all? and most of all, why am i even trying to plan for a future when its impossible to know what the future entails? Things always change and nothing ever works out the way you expect it to, so then why plan? why worry? why think about the future when the future you have in mind may end up completely opposite from what you expect?????
i think too much and sometimes things get to me. I feel like i need some kind of reasoning to it all and i don't know where to get it from.. Or maybe, just maybe i'm bored because all i do is work and i miss my friends. Maybe there is a simple solution to it all and thats getting out more, because the weather is nice and the winter is over and its time to get out and do something more exciting with my life. Maybe i'm just a little on the crazy side today, but hey thats happens to the best of us. ok. Good night.
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2 comments:
Hey JC,
As for the first part,as far as I'm concerned you can travel to tahiti, germany, japan, italy, any place, but when you look up, you're still under the same blue sky. This is coming for someone whose never flown on an air plane. I can understand the need for travel, I wish to go abroad myself and see things I've only read about, but the sky will stay the same, and when I come home, it'll be the same.
The second part, progress, as far as the west is concerned, everyone is looking to advance their position. Its not just the great american dream to rise throught the ranks, look at japan. But you're friend is right, the present is important. Love ya, JC
I believe everything happened the way it was suppose to, perhaps you weren't quite ready to go overseas alone, who knows. You have always wanted the good job, a family, travel. These things will come when they are suppose to, somtimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Part of your dream has already come true, you are in a position to build a wonderful career. Here is a poem to live by, it's called:
"Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow".
There are two days in every week we should never worry about, two days that should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, it's aches and pains, its faults and blunders. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed, nor erase a single word we've said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its impossible adversaries, its burden, its hopeful promise and unknown
performance. Tomorrow is beyond our control. Tomorrow's sun will rise either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. And until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow for it is as yet unborn.
This leaves only one day - today!
Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens of yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad. It is the remorse of bitterness for something that happened yesterday, and the
dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Make TODAY the best day it can be,
and live one day at a time!
~Author Unknown~
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