Goals

I was reading through my journal and i came across my new years resolutions. I decided this year to write them down so that I can look back and remember what they were and make sure that i am living up to them. Instead of the usual eat healthy and go to the gym resolution (That i never follow) i decided on some new ones. A few resolutions this year, that I wanted to improve about myself and help myself to grow more. Here they are...
I want to not judge others and most importantly not worry if they are judging me
I want to really be there for my friends and accept them the way they are
I want to do something good and help out somehow.

So how am i doing you ask? I'd say very well as of right now. Its been three months and I feel much more at ease with life. I'm not in school anymore and I don't have to worry about what everyone thinks of me and I've also realized that it really doesn't matter what they think. Regardless, its my life and i'm going to do what i want with it. I have been doing the things that I enjoy, I've been taking risks and stepping outside of my box just a bit. I'm thinking this summer I'd really like to take a weekend and go on vacation by myself. Yes, thats right by my self. I feel like it could be very relaxing and enjoyable. I love having company and I love spending time with my friends and going on crazy trips and adventures, but i think i'd really enjoy just doing something on my own like that. Being independent and not needing the company of others.

I'm beginning to see who my true friends are. That was really what I wanted to do. I wanted to be there for my friends and really accept everyone for who they are. I didn't want to judge someone for anything. I've learned that I don't need the approval of others and sometimes, friends grow apart or they just realize that it wasn't meant to be. i can't get everyone to like me and i'm not going to get along with everyone as well. I'm not going to put myself in a situation where someone can walk all over me or disrespect me, its just not worth it. I need to let go of the past and let go of what those friendships were and realize what they are now. I'm not saying i completely bury the past, but i just moved on.

Lastly I want to do something good and help other people. I joined a mentoring program called big brothers big sisters. I have a little sister names Corey and her and I just starting to get to know each other. I don't know if i'll have this huge impact on her life or anything, i just hope that she will enjoy the time we spend together and it can maybe give her something in her life that she might be missing. I also think I might volunteer this summer and help out somehow. Once I get out of this cold weather, i'll be much more motivated to get out and do things.

Well, I think, three months in and i've been living up to my resolutions pretty well. Its coming close to a year since I graduated from college. It has definitely been an interesting year and a crazy one, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm doing well, looking forward to summer and enjoying my life.

Looking towards the future, I'm trying to do the best that I can and succeed at my job. I want to impress people and show that I have what it takes and can take on anything. I am in the process of joining a club called "toastmasters" Its a nation wide club designed to help people improve their public speaking and communications skills as a whole. It meets twice a month and at each meeting a few people give a prepared speech and we do an activity called table topics (That is where you are given a random topic or question anything from lamps to relationships and you have to speak about it for two minutes). Table topics are good because they help you to think on your feet and be able to talk about anything, which is good for me because my job is to mainly talk to people about whatever they want to talk about! There are also contests that you can participate in and win prizes at regional and national levels. So, those are my goals for now. Improve my communications skills and go out and sell lots of products.

I have a ton of books I've been wanting to read and they are starting to pile up, another goal I have to to read those books and stop watching so much tv its evaporating my brain!!! okay, thats all for now.

crazy

I've had a crazy week. I finally got to sit down and relax for the first time since monday, except not for long, because i now have some crazy cleaning to do this weekend! Things are looking up as of this week. I found that i'm much more calm and okay with things when they are hectic and busy. When i have a million things to do and not enough time to do them in, i feel much more at ease with life. Maybe thats because I feel like i have some kind of purpose to this all and i'm not just wasting away. Well its snowing out like crazy and i plan on laying on the couch and simply vegging out all night long. It would be nice however, to have someone to veg out with. Oh well.

So, like i said things are looking up. I have a feeling that the next few months are going to fly by. I'll be super busy with food shows every week and starting to do ride withs with the sales men. I have the wedding in may, then wildwood in june and JAPAN in July and then FINALLY summer!!! I've never looked more forward to summer in my entire life. Mainly because this will be the first summer that I'm not working every single day all day and never have time to do anything. I plan on going to the beach as much as possible, going up to my moms camp a few weekends, and going out in saratoga alll the time! I'll be able to, for the first time actually enjoy the summer and not have to worry about saving money for the school year.

I have a feeling that by this time next year i will be much more at ease with my life. Right now things are confusing, I don't know which way is up and i'm alway axious about something. However, i'm starting to settle in. I'm starting to relax and realize that i don't need to take certain things so seriously. i don't need to rush my life, i need to sit back and enjoy it at much as possible. i feel like i'm always in a rush for something and i don't know how to just slow down and enjoy the things around me. i mean, i'm young i should enjoy being young before its gone and i'm wondering where it went. to be honest, i don't even know what i'm in a rush for. I just always have that feeling of waiting and hoping that something will come fast.

With that said, I'm going to sit back and enjoy my first night off in a while and relax and enjoy the simple things in life. Like vegging out on the couch!