i was "that girl" again

I'm the first one to admit that I have been "that girl" many times in my life. Now in case you're confused, "that girl" is that completely wasted ridiculous girl at the party. Well, shes been retired for over a year now and I have to say, she came back this past weekend........ And I LOVED it. I'm not gonna lie, I really did. I guess I sometimes just miss that lifestyle especially when I was reliving it with my best friends in the world. Thats what I love about them the most is that I can be "that girl" and its okay. I can be more myself around them than anyone else and its completely acceptable. Because being myself is sometimes a bit crazy and I've learned to realize that maybe not everyone can handle it. I've definitely learned to tone things down a bit this year, but its nice to act that way sometimes and not care because i know that no one else really cares either. Or maybe they do, but at least they can handle it. I was reading a blog posted by sara http://vagabondsara.blogspot.com/2007/10/odyssey-years.html . After reading this I realized something about my life this past year that i've been missing. I'm missing that so called odyssey years because I jumped so fast into the rest of my life. DOn't get me wrong, I'm completely satisfied with the life that I have and the job that I have. I wouldn't give it up, but I feel like I missed out on those years. The years to extend the college lifestyle in an adult world. The years to travel and see things. The years to experience life without worrying about anything. I feel as though I may have missed out on those years to explore and figure out what I fully want out of life.

I was depressed about all of this (missing plattsburgh and my friends and the odyssey years) for about 30 mins until I realized that I'm not missing out on anything. That I already semi know what I want out of life and I that I can still experience these things, with the career that I have. I may not be able to do everything that I wanted, but at the same time I don't have to grow up completely either. I can still live life to the fullest and work hard at the job that I'm in. I can learn to balance out my work life and play life and I can explore the world at the same time. I can do all of the things that are spoken about in the article while still staying focused on my career and the rest of my life. I can do all of this because I'm still young enough to do whatever I want. So, maybe I don't want to be "that girl" every weekend or every night, but I can still enjoying spending time with friends and making new ones along the way. I can still enjoy travelling (maybe in smaller more spaced out time frames than I'd hope) I can still do it.

I have no regrets in life, I have no regrets about the life I have chosen. I also realize that my life is not over and from past experience can tell me that the future is completely unknown and completely unpredictable. I can do whatever it is that I want in life and what I want in life may change tomorrow. As long as I'm happy with where I am, I think things are going to be okay. I may still feel like a child trapped in this very adult world scratching to get out, but I guess I'll just have to take another trip up to plattsburgh or to visit my friends to get a break from it all. I do miss plattsburgh and I do miss my friends and my old life, but I'm absolutely loving my new life and my new friends that I have right now. No complaints in this department...