Autumn Ending Fast...

Eventually, all of the pieces will fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason. I've been living by this quote the past several months. I feel like summer just ended yesterday. How is it that the summer seemed to have lasted FOREVER and Fall feels like it just started and is now over? I'm definitely feeling more at ease these days. After a hectic/chaotic summer I needed a break. I had to stop and breathe. I had to take some time to catch my breath. That is exactly what I have been doing. So far, so good. Still waiting for those pieces to fall into place, but I'm definitely in no hurry at all.

I've been living in the moment and trying my best to enjoy each day as it comes to me. I've been very busy this fall, traveling a lot. Seeing my friends and keeping out of trouble for sure. Working hard and trying to refocus and get organized. I'm getting a new roommate and couldn't be more excited. I'm hoping to pay off lots of debt and begin to save money for my next adventure. What exactly is that next adventure? Who knows. So many options, so many choices. All that can be decided when the time is right.

Every ending has a new beginning

As we come to an end of this summer I am both excited and sad at the same time. I went through a roller coaster of emotions, but at the same time had the time of my life. Breaking up with my boyfriend was one of the best things I did for myself. Not only did it open up many, many doors, but it let me have one of the best summers of my life. You really never know where life will take you. The people you meet can change your life in an instant. I met some amazing people this summer and reconnected with some amazing old friends as well. It's funny how you get into a relationship and the rest of the world seems to just fade away in that moment of time. I hope that in my next relationship this doesn't happen.

I am definitely exhausted. This summer has wore me down both physically and emotionally. I don't think I have stopped since it started. Every time I tell myself that I want to stop and slow down for a bit I find something else to do. For now I think that is okay. I can slow down when I'm ready. I'm slowly getting excited for our trip to Spain. I have been way too busy to even realize that it is just around the corner. I guess that is what happens when you are having fun with life. You aren't constantly waiting around for something big to happen. You are making something big happen as you go.

Some fun things that I will miss about this summer: Boating on the lake, camping trips, spontaneous shopping trips with the girls, girls nights (that will continue beyond summer), Adirondack extreme, summer concerts (wish I went to more!), Being in the sun, swimming, Eric's hockey game (definitely will continue), My amazing summer party, The track and Saratoga, being with really good friends.

So as this summer comes to an end. I am very excited to see where fall will take me. My life these days feels very unplanned and for the first time, I'm okay with that. You really never do know where life will take you. Stop planning and live your life. It is my firm believing that life is all up to fate and that everything really does happen for a reason. I think that no matter what things will turn out okay. That my life will be amazing and I'm excited to see where it will take me. It's funny how only three years ago I thought I had everything laid out. I thought I knew exactly where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. Now I have absolutely no idea and that is the best feeling in the world. I have every opportunity put in front of me and nothing holding me back from taking advantage of any of them.

A New Chapter

I never blog anymore. I got really into it for a while and I think I stopped because I was bored and running out of things to say, plus I don't think anyone was really reading it. I don't care either way...

I am beginning a new chapter in my life. I feel like I have come to a point in my life where I really need to stop and refocus everything I've ever thought. Well, maybe not completely but for the most part. I am in the process of an entirely new self discovery and trying to change in new ways and for the better. I am trying to experience life in a more positive way and really find out what I want to get out of life. I want to find my purpose and meaning to the world.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, a decision that came about over too many issues to fully explain. The main reason I think is because when I got out of college I felt like I was on a path. A path to live the everyday life that people are "supposed" to live. I had to get a job, find someone to marry, and have kids, then live happily ever after. I wanted all of this until I had it. I then began to feel like I couldn't breathe. Like every single part of me was being stripped away. I didn't know who I was and I didn't know how to find myself. I felt trapped. Trapped in a life that I didn't know if I wanted.

The good thing about this new chapter I am about to enter is that I still don't know what I want out of life. I still don't know who I am or who I want to be. The difference now is that I have an entire world of possibilies placed before me. I can do anything in the world that I want to do and no one will ever hold me back... I think that is the best feeling in the world.

One year with Kraft

It's official... I have now been a working girl for exactly one year today. I actually made it and I have to say that it feels amazing. The funny thing is, this is the longest job i have ever worked consecutively. There were no breaks, no summer vacations, no stops between school. I actually did it. When I look back to last year, I remember how absolutely excited I was. I was nervous and in complete awe of everything. I had worked so hard to get here that I was practically speechless. It has been a good year though. Slightly stressful, slightly confusing, but completely worth it. I learned a lot and I still have a lot to learn. I feel that I grew up a bit this past year, but I still have a lot of growing up to do. I have had some amazing experiences and met some amazing people as well. Here are some of the things that I have been up to this year... One thing I can say is that a year goes by FAST... I mean really fast, I don't think that I ever remember school going by this fast. It feels like just yesturday I was starting out. Where has the time gone? I hope that next year doesn't go by so fast because i'm not all that sure I'm ready to grow up yet. I still feel young, I am young, but i'd just like it to stay that way. All in all, it was an amazing year, and I only hope that next year will be just as amazing if not more. I am so grateful to be where I am today. I think that I have worked hard to get here and it only shows that hard work really does pay off. Thanks to everyone that helped get here.

i was "that girl" again

I'm the first one to admit that I have been "that girl" many times in my life. Now in case you're confused, "that girl" is that completely wasted ridiculous girl at the party. Well, shes been retired for over a year now and I have to say, she came back this past weekend........ And I LOVED it. I'm not gonna lie, I really did. I guess I sometimes just miss that lifestyle especially when I was reliving it with my best friends in the world. Thats what I love about them the most is that I can be "that girl" and its okay. I can be more myself around them than anyone else and its completely acceptable. Because being myself is sometimes a bit crazy and I've learned to realize that maybe not everyone can handle it. I've definitely learned to tone things down a bit this year, but its nice to act that way sometimes and not care because i know that no one else really cares either. Or maybe they do, but at least they can handle it. I was reading a blog posted by sara http://vagabondsara.blogspot.com/2007/10/odyssey-years.html . After reading this I realized something about my life this past year that i've been missing. I'm missing that so called odyssey years because I jumped so fast into the rest of my life. DOn't get me wrong, I'm completely satisfied with the life that I have and the job that I have. I wouldn't give it up, but I feel like I missed out on those years. The years to extend the college lifestyle in an adult world. The years to travel and see things. The years to experience life without worrying about anything. I feel as though I may have missed out on those years to explore and figure out what I fully want out of life.

I was depressed about all of this (missing plattsburgh and my friends and the odyssey years) for about 30 mins until I realized that I'm not missing out on anything. That I already semi know what I want out of life and I that I can still experience these things, with the career that I have. I may not be able to do everything that I wanted, but at the same time I don't have to grow up completely either. I can still live life to the fullest and work hard at the job that I'm in. I can learn to balance out my work life and play life and I can explore the world at the same time. I can do all of the things that are spoken about in the article while still staying focused on my career and the rest of my life. I can do all of this because I'm still young enough to do whatever I want. So, maybe I don't want to be "that girl" every weekend or every night, but I can still enjoying spending time with friends and making new ones along the way. I can still enjoy travelling (maybe in smaller more spaced out time frames than I'd hope) I can still do it.

I have no regrets in life, I have no regrets about the life I have chosen. I also realize that my life is not over and from past experience can tell me that the future is completely unknown and completely unpredictable. I can do whatever it is that I want in life and what I want in life may change tomorrow. As long as I'm happy with where I am, I think things are going to be okay. I may still feel like a child trapped in this very adult world scratching to get out, but I guess I'll just have to take another trip up to plattsburgh or to visit my friends to get a break from it all. I do miss plattsburgh and I do miss my friends and my old life, but I'm absolutely loving my new life and my new friends that I have right now. No complaints in this department...

another year

i thoroughly enjoyed 22. it was a good year for me and i have to admit that i'm sad its ending. yeah, so it started out a bit rocky, but thats just part of life. all in all, i enjoyed being 22. i enjoyed saying i was 22. i enjoy the number 22. Everything about being 22 was just simply great. its like still young enough to get away with so many things, but old enough to do whatever you want to do. And so many great things happend this past year. I got an amazing job that I absolutely love, I went to Japan, I met some amazing new friends, and I got to visit and spend time with some old friends as well. I went to the west coast and saw san fransisco. I rode my bike across the golden gate bridge, 22 was an amazing year!! 23 is that much closer to adult hood. I mean yeah i am an adult now, but i'm still a young adult, still fresh to the world so its ok, it lets me get away with a lot of things. The older you get the more mature you have to become. The more responsible you have to become. and to be honest.... I'm just not so sure if I'm ready for all of that. I'm still in kid mode and I'm not sure that I'm ready to leave it. But I guess I have to right? Because, thats just part of life. Thats what happens, we get older, we get wiser, and we enjoy the journey as much as we can. I'm sure that 23 will be just as great of a year as 22 was. Actually, I know that it will!! So enough venting about turning 23.... I'm ready and its going to be great, so here we go...................

San Fransisco

its been a few weeks since i got back, but its been a crazy few weeks as well. San Fransisco was amazing. I fell in love with that city it was absolutely gorgeous there. After a long flight plus spending the night in LAX airport, I quickly found my way to lacy's house, took a shower, got ready, and headed off in search of the Bart. It wasn't too hard to find, I had a map and when I got a bit lost a nice man showed me where to go. I walked with him there and found out that he used to live in Saratoga Springs!! very exciting! I soon found out that it was "spare the air" day, meaning all public transportation was free. I headed into the mission for a good mexican lunch. After that I hopped back on the bart to embarcadero and jumped on a cable car. I had somewhat of an idea of what i wanted to do today, but no set plans. I rode the cable car all the way up California street and finally decided to get off, otherwise I would just be riding that all day. Now, I had studied the map of San Fransisco before I left, but I didn't have a hard copy since it was too big to print out. I knew that Lombard street was close to where I was so I started to walk in the direction that I thought it would be. All of a sudden bam there it was!! It was really neat I took some pictures, walked down it, took more pictures, and then stood there trying to plan my next move. I knew that I wanted to go to the golden gate bride, but I didn't know how I was going to do this. Should I just walk across it? But that would be a long far walk just to simply get to the bridge. Maybe I should take a cab? How much would that cost though? I started walking in the general direction while I contemplated what to do. All of a sudden I stumble upon a bike rental shop!! PERFECT!!! So I rented a bike and off I went. Now, I hadn't rode a bike in about 10 years, but its true when they say its just like riding a bike, I got on and a bit wobbly at first, but I was off!!

Now, for those of you know don't know, I have this mild obsession with bridges. I absolutely love them, so riding a bike across the golden gate bridge was pretty much a dream come true. I was in heaven!! And it was sooo beautiful. There wasn't any fog at all, it was completely clear and beautiful. I rode my bike across to a little town called sausaleto. This was such a cute town, I wanted to move there!!!! I tried to catch a ferry back to san Fransisco, but missed it and since the next one wasn't coming for an hour, I decided to simply ride back. I then headed toward fisherman's warf to check it out and then back to oakland to get some dinner with lacy. All in all, it was the perfect day!.

Day 2 started out awful. Lacy dropped me off at the Bart station on her way to work. Getting on the bart I then realized that I forgot my ticket to Alcatraz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I went back to lacy's bart station, walked all the back to her house, called a cab, thinking it would be faster since it took about a half hour for me to walk there. Only to realize that it took the cab a half hour to get there!!! But, needless to say I made it and alcatraz was awesome!! I highly recommend anyone take this tour if they ever get a chance, because it was very interesting. After that I went down to peir 39 to see the sea lions, went to giradelli square for some chocolate, and had lunch at this cute little Italian restaurant. I was super tired today so I went shopping for a bit and then headed back to meet up with lacy.

Day3 was just as good as the rest. We started out going to Castro for some lunch, then headed to haight ashbery (which has some awesome shops!! too bad I ran out of money by now!!). We then stopped in golden gate park, relaxed a bit before heading to see the full house house!! Totally cool, its called postard row because its one of the most photographed spots in the city and has been seen in numerous movies and tv shows. After that we went shopping and headed into Berkely for some dinner. We then went to this prett rose garden and you could see the san fransisco bay from there and it was soo beautiful. We went back to play cards and lacy dropped me off at the airport... It was an amazing trip and an amazing city I highly suggest anyone to go visit it someday!!